Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
