i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
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Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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