I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
