I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize