A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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