this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
