Will you blow on my dice?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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