i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
