I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
