This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
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