I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize