if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You need Xanax blowdarts
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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