Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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