Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize