I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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