South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
