id be glad to
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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