question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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