we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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