we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
