I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
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She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
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This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize