Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She even gives head with a lisp.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
