Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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