She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
