I heard we made out
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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