Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
