You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
