I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just threw up on my dentist
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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