The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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