I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
