I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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