Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
