My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
