yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
