we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
