sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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