I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
