How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
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idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
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If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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