i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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