I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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