She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize