She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
