i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
