I think my vagina is haunted
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
