i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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