I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We talked him into tasing himself.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
