i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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