It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
