hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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