I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
