I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
