So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize