Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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