Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
