I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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