But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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