with your own penis?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He felt like a one man threesome
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
