We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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