is your mom at the bar?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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