careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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