Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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