margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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