oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
