i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
