she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
