He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize