I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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