on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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