your room smells of hookers.
And success
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
